I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
