Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
