And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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