sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
