My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize