I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
