haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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