Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize