People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
