just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
