I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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