Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize