I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
