Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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