It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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