I'm drive I can fine osifer
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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