So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
