Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
