STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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