You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
