are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's blow job season.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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