; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
