he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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