i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
birth control should be required to get into college
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
