and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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