I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
