come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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