i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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