East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
