oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm jealous of your bromance
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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