Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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