He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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