Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize