I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
