if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
