That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
