so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
