hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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