what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
