You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize