Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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