Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
