After last night, I could never be a politician.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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