On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
