I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize