I can text with my tongue
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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