She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
