I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
