We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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