I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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