covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
