They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
