And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
