going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
