i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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