home. puking in laundry basket.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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