Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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