I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
